I delivered a series of workshops this past week on resolving conflict. I tried to emphasize how to minimize and prevent conflict – when possible. Whenever I am discussing personal behavior change, I often hear that the real problem is “my boss” or “my co-worker” and that “they should be in the session.” Of course.

Although training and coaching can be effective when people are highly motivated, one of the most powerful and effective approaches to influencing others to change their behavior is to model it yourself. This works at an individual and organizational level. The adage is definitely true that actions speak louder than words. People respond (learn) at a more visceral level by what they observe.

Modeling is double-edged. It may also have an undesired affect if our actions are incongruent with what we say or claim to be important. This type of incongruency might be considered hypocrisy by others and can actually destroy what we are trying to accomplish. Being more self-aware would help dramatically.

Despite positive intent and the best ideas for ourselves and others, we fail as leaders, managers, supervisors, peers, friends, parents, spouses, partners, etc. when we are not careful in avoiding hypocritical behavior. Hypocrite may sound like a strong word, that we are reluctant to attach to ourselves or others, but it may be the appropriate word.

Hypocrisy is more than just annoying. When the stakes are high it impacts the degree to which we trust each other and our institutions. When a manager says it’s important that the team supports each other, and then that same manager bad mouths one member behind the back of another – that’s hypocrisy and that’s a problem.

Our good ideas are usually not enough to influence and lead others in the direction we want them to go. The best ideas and intent are meaningless when we as individuals or as organizations act hypocritically. The result can even be a setback in credibility and trust that can take a long time to recover from, if at all. Unfortunately there are daily and high profile, examples of hypocritical behavior from politicians, business leaders, sports figures, etc. Let’s use these examples as reminders of what not to do.

I believe that sometimes we focus too much on what we think, our positive intentions, and not enough on what we do, our contradictory behavior. How do we act like a hypocrite at work or at home? Are we not getting the results we want or the relationships we want because our behavior contradicts what we say is important?

Yes, modeling can be very powerful. Beware and be careful.

“Change
it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the fall that’s all
But the world looks just the same
And history ain’t changed…”

-Pete Townshend

And so it goes… or does it?

History is changing, right under our noses. Maybe it was a fitting coincidence that the dot-com revolution peaked in January 2000. A nice clean start to the 21^st century. Yes, this is the 21^st century. Almost ten years into it, doesn’t that still have a far away, tomorrow-like ring to it? Thanks to the hyper-changes brought about by the speed and reach of the web, what worked yesterday isn’t working today, and likely won’t work tomorrow. There are enough lessons around us to make that point (see GM). We got the call. Some of us got the early wake-up call. For the rest of us, the alarm has definitely gone off and it would be a mistake to hit the snooze button this time.

Leaders, in any field, at any level, would do well to consider the benefits of organizing around a different set of precepts to fulfill their purpose and continue to thrive and deliver products or services. Now is the time to really do something about getting people out of their mental and organizational silos and not just sit around in meetings talking about it. If you continue to be a slave to artificial constructs like your existing org chart, don’t be surprised if you find yourself and your organization behind the curve once again, continuing to play defense when threatened by increased competition or diminishing revenue. We keep hearing that an improved economy won’t mean we can go back to business as usual. Instead of staying in your bunker, hoping the smoke will clear, you have an opportunity to plan now so that you can charge forward later.

We hear the call to “Take risks. Innovate. Change.” Sounds smart doesn’t it? Have you really figured out what this means? Are you stuck trying to figure out what the boss really wants? Don’t wait because the fundamentals are more important now than ever. As a 21^st century leader you might start by doing these simple things:

1. Focus on what your core business is. What are you good at? Is there still a need for what you offer or how you offer it?
2. Evaluate your talent. Who is good at doing what? How motivated are they to help come up with new ideas and solutions? Who isn’t adding value?
3. Spend time determining how best to get your talent focused and aligned. What should they be doing? How should they be doing it? What support do they need?
4. Take a look at the reporting structure. Does it still make sense? Look at the individual units or even departments. What would happen if you blew up the boxes and started over?

This should be Management 101, right? Then how come you, your boss and your organization aren’t really doing it? Granted, it isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be too complex if you plan, take one step at a time and make the effort a priority. This is leading. Do you still want to wait for permission?

“To Change something, build a new model…”

- R. Buckminister Fuller.

Walter Cronkite died yesterday and I had a chance to reflect on my memories of him. I was a big fan of the Apollo launches when I was 9. I recall getting up early to watch each of them, leading up to Apollo 11 when man first walked on the moon. Coincidentally today is the 40th anniversary of that seminal event. It has been well documented that Cronkite was also a big fan of the space program and my enthusiasm for the various launches was fueled by his coverage of those launches, and especially the lead up to them. In those days a space launch created drama and anticipation and I wanted to follow what was going on. I felt something important and historic was about to happen as he counted off the time left to each lift-off – “T-minus 15 min….” Uncle Walter always made the events more memorable and exciting than my alternative of watching cartoons or Wonderama. As the rocket disappeared into the atmosphere, and the people in mission control seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, so would he. We had done it again. It was pretty cool.

I never wanted to be an astronaut but I was fascinated by what was involved leading up to each launch and the awesome technology and imagination that it took to bring us closer to that moon landing in 1969. For some kids, Cronkite may have inspired them to go into science. For me I was inspired to dream, and keep dreaming. As a grown-up consultant and entrepreneur, I keep trying to dream and whenever I can, I share the importance of being passionate and innovative. Putting a man on the moon was a generation’s “big hairy goal” (Collins and Porras) and they achieved it. I think this generation needs to find its inspiration and create another.